29th of May 2009

No, I haven't dead yet.

Sounds quite convincing in the first sentence of a long break post huh?

Well, if you people had been following my blog, you will read about a day a reason for suicide, don't you?

Its really been very busy this whole week, 3 exams in 4 days, that amount of things to read, learn, digest, memorise, and eat, is not really a good idea to be done in a confined space and time... But since I do not have a choice, and therefore that's what I had been doing these days..

I had never been that hardworking before..

I had never been staying up so late before..

I had never been sleeping less in so many days before..

and I had never been thinking about how to suicide myself that much before..

basically this is the life of student.

Numeracy Skills for Forensic Science, which the paper came so bad, lots of tears been shed right after the exam.. But that's not it, I had Forensic Archaeology a day before Numeracy Skills..

and this had made things worst..

That day went I walked towards bus station for UniBus, for the exam of Numeracy Skills, I'm already half dead.. I'm really wonder what would happens if I get another "scare to half dead shock", simple maths ==>> half + half = obviously is full....

Back to walking towards bus station.. well, actually I can't stand still when I'm at home getting myself ready, so I can't walk in straight line.. no influences of alcohol... in these days, people that had downed 7pints will still be able to walk straight, stand straight, and read ABC backwards, and pass the pretest of drink driving...

Me? I confirmed failed even I do not have a driving licence and a car key...

One of the questions in Numeracy Skills, where it ask me to sketch a straight line graph... sounds simple huh??? well, its not that simple for me.. because I can't stand still or walk straight..

even though i had my ruler with me, I have no idea why the graph just seems crooked.. and it begins to show an exponential graph rather than a direct relation graph.. luckily I'm not studying design and architecture...

for no reason, maybe because I'm not "straight" that day, I kept on writing "Accuracy" as "Accuray", even though I kept on reminding myself, its just keep on coming up... crap....

speaking of exponential graph, my coffee in the jar had been reducing at a constant rate before exams, but it just decrease exponentially this 2 months, especially the last 2 weeks.. hard to believe I had 3 strong coffee tonight, not a typical coffee person had been poisoned by coffee... basically for the caffeine, is this considered as "drug-addict"????

3am now, sunrise will be in an hour and half later... going back to study...

*3.42am update... I had heard of 早起的鸟儿有虫吃, but never knew they would be that early to look for worms... they started to whistle around since 3.30am.... before that its just a cold lonely silence night....

21st of May 2009

?????

Rubik's Cube

When there is 3 exams next week, and a few guys stucked with hundreds of pages of notes... and eventually end up with Rubik's Cube..

Don't know why this fella got heat up in this year..

and the disease spreads in SPS faster than you thought.. much faster than Swine Flu...

My notes and my book of Bunny Suicides.. Look at my previous post about the book...

and obviously I'm not doing much studying, due to facebook, rubik's cube, suiciding, and procrastination.. 

we were kind of survive with only coffee or hot chocolate from the vending machine.. this is my friend's study place..

and this is what we had been doing.. various designs of made from Rubik's Cube and it's big brother Rubik's Revenge.. 

Forensic Facial Identification and Image Analysis

Sounds profesional huh??? And is it really to do with Forensics??? I have no idea...

What we had learnt is like half bucket full of water...

We learnt how to use computer software to create a person image, but not allowed to do so because we are not Forensic Facial Identifications Officer or Forensic Artist..

We learnt how to embed secret files into image, but not given the algorithm to us..

We learnt how to extract encrypted informations, manually.. when I say manually, it is really manually without the help of computer... see pictures below of my exam paper.. and obviously it did not work out as it should be..

What I should get is a vehicle registrations number, where normally in UK will have XX99 XXX, where X is alphabets and 99 is numbers.. but mine worked out not to be like that.. thus failed..

We also learnt how to calculate and evaluate the modern television put on sale in your local electronics shop, so we will know how much pixels is on the screen, and choosing which one will have the highest quality for HD (high definition)...

Well, of course we do learnt how to recover deleted files (provided the hard disk is not securely deleted and is still in one piece)... and I'm not going to tell you how easily....... 

All I could say is, if you are changing your hard disk, don't sell it... even if you have "deleted" your files from your computer and "emptied" your recycle bin...

Went for a walk after exams... 

I still don't know why i'm stressing myself out.. and I don't know how much more exams I can withstand before I broke apart..

I never been experiencing this before..

Not like others have been stressed since small, and so they can cope well for the stress..

After living in Canterbury for almost 2 years now..

and I never know that the city of Canterbury is such beautiful... 

here are the pics...

Killer Kittens

Housemates just got 2 new kittens.. well their size is quite big for a cute kitten, not sure how old they are...

They had been trying to kill themselves since they came here...

Is it me or this house just makes us suicidal???

There is lots of "dangerous" weapons over the place..

BBs, guns (don't worry, UK law still applies, just airsoft in here), knifes, what ever you can think of...

Since they are here, they had been hiding themselves under the stack of unstable DVDs, game consoles..

Getting near to wire cables..

And hiding behind a sofa, which most of the people will sat on the sofa hardly and pushing the sofa to the wall, which in this case will cramp the kitten to the wall..

They had been wondering around the door as well, and normally working men will open the door and swinging it to the fullest yelling, "I'm home", which at the same time splatting the kitten between the door and the wall as well..

Well, one of the house rule applies since these kittens came, "Dogs, cats or gerbils can not down 6 pints of alcohol"....

Doing so with the house full of weaponry will results this...........

16th of May 2009

As per a reason for me to kill myself a day....

today I decided to go search for Apple website to see if I can contact them by e-mail about possible of allowing me to unlock my iPhone for some personal reasons, how interesting, you can find any support e-mail address.. somebody will ask why I don't try to call them, it save me time and frustration for looking over the website just for an e-mail, well, those numbers will not look that easy... 

I tried to change my credit card billing address to my current address since like September 2008 (which I moved), I went to the branch and was told to call some number, I can't change my details in person, I need to call them and let them hear my voice rather than visual confirmation.. Calling to that number is a nightmare, it is not a freephone, and my house DO not have landline.. Which I had to use my mobile to call them, which it cost me a lot... and they make you listen to their waiting songs, which is very very very boring, and the song never ends... after 20-25mins of listening to the song, then came a voice, out of sudden you thought your call had been picked up huh??? think again... its actually some recorded voice telling me nobody is free to pick up my call now and ask me to listen more musics... half an hour of call cost of nothing... sent letter to the customer complain centre, yup, they reply very soon, told me that they will follow up, but nothing happens later, and we are back to square one.

So, I ignore Apple, and went to O2, which is my service provider... they do have a "Contact Us" button, I clicked it, choosing "Mobile" which is currently my problem... well, normally when we reach the "Contact" page, we will be asked to fill up some contact details of our own so they can contact us after acknowledging what our problems... Here goes page one... its not that hard, just fill in your contact details...

And this is page two, 

how the hell on earth I remember when is my last top up???? in UK they won't freeze your account if you don't topup every 3 months like in Malaysia... and I VERY VERY VERY seldom call or text people.... my phone is basically receive calls only... 10pounds can last for months... months until you really forgotten when you top it up!!!!! its like, hey! do you remember what you said to your parents 108days ago at 3:45pm???? or do you remember 93days ago, how much you pay for your dinner???? 

The more hilarious is the two numbers that I most frequent call........

I'm like really WTH!??!?!?!?!? I do not keep my call logs... I do not work with the government sector or ECHELON that monitors all our calls.. or even keep a record on which number is the highest frequency of calling.. 

...........

Here's some news either they are shocking or funny or really can't just make them up...

Whistable, Kent. Which is next to Canterbury - a 10 year old starts to rob somebody else, well, its not shocking to me now, because 14 year old will starts to brutally murder sombody else... 

University of Kent, Canterbury - Basically the uni i'm studying in, and have no idea when this society came up, as well as all these flowers... 

Moreton-in-Marsh, Gloucestershire, England. - Since they have Police College for each force, of course they will have Fire Service College, well of course this college trains firemen, practical class means putting out a fire in real.. and this is one of their practical class....... they all learnt a lot today.. they even get some tips from their seniors...

last but not least... this happens in Germany... 

lesson for this one, don't get a convertible, if you do get a convertible, don't open the top, if you do wanted to open the top, don't put your cash in some envelope without seatbelts on it, seatbelts does not only save lifes, they save your cash as well... but well, don't buy a car using cash, use your credit card you richie, at least credit card have protection........ if you still don't understand what the whole credit card thing and its protection, go youtube and look for Mastercard advertisement.. 

*if you really really want to blow some cash away... please don't because you will be charged by the police.... you can always donate them to me.. i can use some cash... i accept in any form of currency... 

Series of Unfortunate Events

Short talk..

Maybe I should start to write,

"A reason a day for killing myself."

Its been so bad for me continuously for 3 days now.. if I write all these down, I can publish a book with the header above...

13th of May, Forensic Ballistics and Collision Analysis, well, duh!!! I have so much confidence in this module, basically this is the only module I have confidence in, and had put all the faith, hope what-so-ever into it, and I totally gone blank when I open the question paper.

14th of May, actually its due to the day before, after coming out of the exam hall, I stressed out.. I lost orientation of myself, lost my question paper in SPS and panically find for it, and for no reason had pass my calculator to my coursemate but didn't notice about it, and had thought I lost my calculator on my first day of exam, and doesn't know what to do without a calculator for the rest of my 6 exams.. went to Sports centre to ask if they found my calculator with much hope, but had prepared that I won't get it back because I left my badminton raquets on the UniBus before and lost forever, back to my calculator, they asked me to go to Campus Watch (Security), and had gone through what-so-ever calculators in there, but none of them are mine.. and had gave up hope on it... until my coursemate came late to Uni to study, when I told her about it, then only she tells me she have it.. calculator does cost life sometimes....

15th of May, laptop been very crappy recently, random access memory filled up easily, so I switch it off this early morning, let it cool down and switching it back on, but after pressing the power on button, hard disk move, and nothing happens after that... last time at least there is still something happen, but nothing starts up, can't even choose what to boot.. which I again lost my directions of life... but luckily it starts to work in the afternoon when I got back... a sign to tell me its time to backup all my files and password and reformat my whole hard disk.. 

short talk huh???

Sometimes accidental is just incidental.

As topic, recently the series of unfortunate events came one by one, hitting me hard all over my body, and just increasing giving me reasons (and excuse) for killing myself...

got quite a lot of ideas from this book --> The book of Bunny Suicides...

you can view the book in this webpage, its not from me, so any legal conflict about copyright or publishing is nothing to do with me.

you know, when stress comes, people do a lot of funny stuffs.. this is what I did...

in the Uni, there are forms all over the place... you know, paperwork....... you have to fill in the form if you had an accident, and then submit it to the head of department, which they will pass it to Health and Safety department, which they will "evaluate" under Health and Safety Act 1974, and will see what "actions" they should take. 

back in Wagamama, they have sitting benchs, and there is a time where me and my friends went there, 13 of us, then came to waitress telling us we can't have more than 10 people in the same table, I asked why? Well, she replies Health and Safety Act doesn't allows that. ................

Sounds weird??? Wait till you read about a police inspector blogging about his work, where he is not allowed to use the kettle to boil water for a cup of hot and nice tea, not allowed to use his desk fan until a sticker is sticked onto it saying "Safe to use", not allowed to move the short hand of the clock when Daylight savings time comes, which they will be a difference in an hour time.

Well of course, big man with tattoos weighing 100kg being drunk in the street, abusing and offending any other people around him, where the police need to tackle him, those Health and Safety people is no where to be seen, this is UK.

His entry can be found here!

The Best of Life for the recent.

Life can be enjoying.. (sometimes)...

How often do you see a very large group of people dancing in a train station,

have karaoke in an open public place,

be like a kid and point hand-made-guns at each other and starts to shoots people,

and also worldwidely froze for a short period of time?

mainly all of these all happens in UK... but of course some in other places in this world as well..

when you watch the video,

its amazing to see such a diversity of people,

just enjoying themselves..

ImprovEverywhere (a New York based prank collective that cause scenes of chaos and joy in public places)...

and.....

This is Malaysia...

where you get arrested even for drinking coffee..

protest for your humanity and rights of independence..

as well as for the democracy...

Since I came to UK to study,

I've met lots of new faces..

I made friends with them..

I told them I'm from Malaysia..

and I do proud of being a Malaysian..

because since childhood,

I had been educated well by the school..

taught well that the Malaysians is a democracy country..

respects the law and its enforcers..

and for most important..

we did live in peace...

3 main races in Malaysia,

but not forgotten those minorities..

in UK and USA,

they have much more different races in their countries..

they are treated equally..

yes sometimes they might have been treated differently by the black sheeps of the society..

but still they had been able to voice out their feelings..

Freedom of Speech had been exercised well..

but....

unfortunately,

there is no freedom of speech in Malaysia.

Even bloggers expressing what they felt get arrested,

and had locked up kissing goodbye to the freedom of air..

Internal Security Act written was a very good law..

not all countries can lock up a detainee for an undefinite time without trial..

but Malaysia had misused the Act... misinterpret..

the Act is for the security of Malaysia such as terrorism..

not layman blogger or activist protesting for their rights..

I know Malaysia had their own government..

they write their own law...

but this is the 21st century...

its time to grow up...

The next time my international friends asked me what is Malaysia like?

I doesn't want to tell them in Malaysia,

you get arrested for voicing out the unfairness..

you get arrested for publishing the truth of ugliness..

you get arrested for wearing black colour t-shirt..

you get arrested for having no business in front of the state department..

you get arrested even protesting peacefully..

you get arrested for sending birthday cake..

you get arrested for drinking coffee in the shop..

*for those who doesn't know what is teh tarik...

it is a Malaysian tea..

famously made by Mamak..

which is Muslim-converted Indians (Tamil Muslim)..

they made great fine tea by pulling the tea into nice and soft..

but you get arrested for drinking it anyway..

*btw.. the 3 men that was arrested for sending birthday cake..

the cake was a considered as a suspect bomb by the police..

in my opinion, i really don't know why the police (Chief Inspector some more) handling the "bomb" so calmly..

he should be well experience to handle a suspicous object, right???

and arresting the "suspected bomber" with the "bomb" together..

without condoning the street and calling for backup..

or at least calling for bomb squad..

well, the police is responsible for the safety of the community right???

what if the cake is really a bomb and it goes off???

there is dozens of reporters and innocent bystanders at there..

mostly all of them with recordable equipments..

just imagine the "bomb" goes off, the process is recorded and recovered,

and the police being questioned...

for more videos related to whats happening in Malaysia...

the good the bad the ugly and the whatever..

go to MalaysiaKini and its Youtube page..

just wondering... what will it be like if in the UK parliament happens like these... by far I had only seen arguing (heaty)... but not dragging somebody out...

I kept on comparing whats happening in Malaysia with UK because, without the help from Queen Elizabeth II, Tunku Abdul Rahman Putra Al-Haj ibni Almarhum Sultan Abdul Hamid Halim Shah (in other words the 1st Prime Minister of Malaysia), wouldn't have shouted "Merdeka (Independence)" in Stadium Merdeka. Please do not forget how British Empire had helped gain independence of Malaya at that time..

~~~

I WANT to tell them that Malaysia is unique from the Asia countries..

I WANT to tell them that Malaysia is not just a democracy country,

but a freedom of speech country...

But, for now, I'm disappointed.

I might even get a warrant for extradition by Malaysia government under Internal Security Act for posting this blog post,

Where what they think is conspiracy to disrupt the security of Malaysia.

Diappointed.

情非得以

Meteor Garden Theme - F4

Qing Fei De Yi (Mid) - F4

Qing Fei De Yi - Guitar Version - Harlem Yu

Qing Fei De Yi Instrumental - Fazo

難以忘記初次見你

一雙迷人的眼睛

在我腦海裡

你的身影

揮散不去

握你的雙手感覺你的溫柔

真的有點透不過氣

你的天真

我想珍惜

看到你受委屈

我會傷心

只怕我自己會愛上你

不敢讓自己靠得太近

怕我沒什麼能夠給你

愛你也需要很大的勇氣

只怕我自己會愛上你

也許有天會情不自禁

想念只讓自己苦了自己

愛上你是我情非得已

~

難以忘記初次見你

一雙迷人的眼睛

在我腦海裡

你的身影

揮散不去

握你的雙手感覺你的溫柔

真的有點透不過氣

你的天真

我想珍惜

看到你受委屈

我會傷心

只怕我自己會愛上你

不敢讓自己靠得太近

怕我沒什麼能夠給你

愛你也需要很大的勇氣

只怕我自己會愛上你

也許有天會情不自禁

想念只讓自己苦了自己

愛上你是我情非得已

~

什麼原因

我竟然又會遇見你

我真的真的不願意

就這樣陷入愛的陷阱

只怕我自己會愛上你

不敢讓自己靠得太近

怕我沒什麼能夠給你

愛你也需要很大的勇氣

只怕我自己會愛上你

也許有天會情不自禁

想念只讓自己苦了自己

愛上你是我情非得已

愛上你是我情非得已